Portfolio Summary

I feel like I have come so far in this class and with my portfolios for multicultural education. I have especially come very far in my thinking about social justice and issues going on around the world and how that matters and how it can affect my classroom. I have learned that I really get to decide what kind of teacher I want to be and how committed I want to be to help my students feel loved and accepted and to receive the education that they need. At first, I thought this class would just be about how everyone is different and how we need to respect others' cultures and differences. But there is so much more to it. As we had class discussions, I learned that there isn't always a solution to problems in the classroom. Sometimes, people will have their feelings hurt and I can't always prevent that but it's okay. I have learned that as long as I am committed to finding solutions and trying to make things equitable for everyone, I am doing something right and that is something to be proud of. I feel like so many people out there, and so many teachers I've had, don't realize the kinds of things they do that could have a negative effect on their students and it is hurtful to young kids to not feel safe or not feel valued and accepted. I definitely want all of my students to feel that they are cared about and unique and accepted in my classroom. I want them to feel like they really can be successful, like how in my book I read for the Book Club, "The New Kids", they were able to feel successful because their teachers really pushed them and showed that they cared about them in their relationships to the students. There was inclusive pedagogy that applied to all the students and their diverse backgrounds and cultures. I want to be a teacher like that, who naturally plans things in my classroom that are fair and inclusive of everyone. This can be done with the media I use, the posters I use and how I decorate my classroom, the books and materials available for students to use, my rules and procedures, my discipline plan, and just how I interact with students.

I remember one of the first discussions we had in class really bothered me because I was essentially feeling like this class, the discussions, the readings, etc. were all hinting that I was a terrible human being because I was white, Mormon, straight, and an American citizen. And because of these things, it seemed to me that I couldn't be good enough or really understand others around me and how they feel being the minority or being the groups that are not a part of the hegemonic culture. I was feeling bad for myself that I had to feel bad about myself, but that was silly. The point of this class, I've learned, isn't actually to make me feel bad about myself being privileged, and it's also not about feeling bad for and having a deficit thinking model about those with differences. It's about learning about what makes us feel uncomfortable and realizing problems and issues that may be affecting our future students, and then trying to help with that and make it so my future classroom can avoid those problems as much as possible. It's about caring about all of the individuals in my classroom and really trying to show them that as I teach. And so I've learned that there's nothing wrong with loving people, even if they have differences and even if I don't always agree with others' beliefs or customs. I can still treat everyone with respect and that's what I've decided my number one rule in my classroom will be: respecting others.

It was fun for me doing the Personal Cultural Artifact portfolio because I never really thought of myself of having a culture. I just thought that "cultured people" were ones from exotic or foreign countries that did really different things than I had ever done and dressed in different ways and had certain foods that their culture was known for. But I realize that was a very narrow-minded way of thinking about culture. I've learned that I have culture from what I eat and what I wear. I also have culture from what I say, how I interact with people, what things I do every day, and what things are important and special to me. I've realized my own intersectionality, as well, because I have been involved in many kinds of groups involving school, music, sports, religion, hobbies I like, where I'm from, and what I look like. I feel like I'm a diverse person and like many things and I want people to realize that about me. Many others want people to recognize this about themselves, too, and don't want to be seen as just stereotypes or as just one story. People have many stories to tell and many things you can learn about them. I plan on getting to know my students throughout the school year and really trying to expand my knowledge about them and the cultures they come from.

It was very eye-opening when I got to do the Being the "Other" portfolio. I got to go to a Spanish Catholic mass and be the outsider. I kept feeling weird I was the only white person there, who obviously didn't look Hispanic and couldn't speak Spanish either. It made me so happy, though, when people there smiled at me and reached out and I felt not so awkward and different than them. I want my students to never feel awkward about being different than others, perhaps if they are a minority of some type. I want them to know that even though we all look different and like different things and may even speak differently, we all can feel good and there can be celebratory multicultural education in my classroom.

Going to the Food and Care Coalition was another great experience for me to understand a little more about what the poor and homeless go through, but how there's also hope and good people in the world to help them. I loved working with the volunteers there who came regularly and were so kind and genuine in how they treated the homeless there that we got to help feed.

I've also just really enjoyed the opportunity of watching videos and reading articles about different groups and different social justice issues that are in our world today and are things we can fight to overcome and be advocates of. I loved learning about gender and sexuality differences, and even though it was heartbreaking to hear some of the stories and experiences people have gone through, including Professor Draper with her son, Bennett, I feel like I learned so much and can be more understanding to those with differences in that nature. I also have loved hearing about case studies and discussing with the class how we can make a difference and how we can try to solve problematic situations that deal with students and parents and those that may be treated unfairly. Again, there won't always be a perfect solution or way to teach all students, but I feel like because of the different social issues and discrimination we have among us, we can find hope and find purpose as we try to make a change in our own classrooms and in our own lives with the people we come in contact with. I feel like my views and understanding about others has greatly widened and it will continue to do so if I apply the things I've learned in this class and keep thinking about what makes me feel uncomfortable and analyzing why that is and what I can do about it in the world.

Book Club

I thought an international school would make all the students feel comfortable since it wasn’t all predominantly white or American born and raised students. I thought that since everyone’s different, everyone will get along. But boy was I wrong. Chit Su feels very alienated and doesn’t know how to interact with these high schoolers. She doesn’t know what to write on her paper since her English is limited. She feels very confused. And I bet there are tons like her in her situation. So how do we really make international and immigrant students feel welcome, accepted, and normal? How do we fully integrate them in our school systems without alienating them or making them stand out? How do I as a teacher help the school classrooms and systems fully help and integrate them and their cultures into an American school?

I found it sort of funny that Chit Su was trying to eat her pizza unsuccessfully with a spork. Then I had to stop my thinking and realized she didn’t know how to eat it and that I shouldn’t laugh about it. I felt bad for thinking of her in a making fun of sort of way. How many times do I do this with people who are unfamiliar with the culture I am in and who don’t know how to do things? Am I helping or hurting them? Am I choosing to make fun of them? I normally wouldn't choose to do that, it was sort of just subconscious. I realize I need to be more aware of when I do this and try to stop myself. I especially cannot do this as a teacher and I want to treat all my students fairly and lovingly.

Ann is a very admirable teacher, in my opinion, who is trying her hardest to help her students learn and achieve and overcome. She wants them to each write college essays that will tell about their personal story and could really give them the opportunity to go to college. As she discusses the process of trying to teach her students and have them come up with ideas and how to put it all down on paper, she receives many sad and hard stories. But she tries not to view her students as deficits and tries not to pity them. She doesn't want that to get in the way of how she grades them. A line in the book says, “She can correct a run-on sentence, if not a life run off course.” She sort of struggles with the fact that some of the stories are so sad and hard, like Ngawang who had to travel in a suitcase for 24 hours, or Yasmeen whose father had cancer and mother had kidney problems, or Jessica whose father abandoned her not only once to receive a new family in America, but twice when they were reunited after 7 years and the stepmom didn’t like her. I want to be a teacher like Ann and the other staff there at the high school, who are friends and mentors to their students, and who sincerely care about them, but try not to view their students as a problem to be fixed.

I thought it was great they did a PTA meeting, where they let students come, and they had attorneys there to talk about being undocumented in the US and answer questions. Depending on who you bring, it could get risky about what they might say and if they would offend the immigrants who aren’t there legally. But I was surprised how helpful and kind they were to the parents and students. I kind of was annoyed with Mohamed, with how many questions he had and how he kept interrupting people. If I were one of teachers or attorneys there I think I would deliberately not call on him and would get frustrated with him. It bothered me that he seemed sort of disrespectful to everyone there with legitimate questions. But maybe his questions were really legitimate? I think it’s easy for me to sometimes brush off teenagers opinions and say they don’t know what they are talking about and they just want attention. But maybe they really need to be heard? Am I going to be patient and not assume bad judgments on my students when I’m a teacher? I want to say I will, but I don’t know. Sometimes certain behaviors can test my patience and I’m worried I might treat a student like Mohamed with disrespect and judgment.

I think it is sort of unfair for these poor immigrant students who have worked so hard and have applied for colleges they want to go to, but many are rejected because even though they’ve prepared and tried their best, they are still very behind other schools and students in the US. The staff especially has worked so hard to help their students be ready and prepare and apply to internships, but many still don’t succeed. This is sort of sad for these students. Many are still learning proper English Standard grammar and other things to get fully integrated into American society, and so they are behind the standards that we set for many prestigious colleges and universities. What can be done about this though? Much of what is based off of getting into college is merit and certain grades and standards.

And then there are students who do get accepted into great colleges but they don’t know where they’ll get the money to pay for it. I’ve always used scholarships and fafsa money to pay for tuition in college and it hasn’t ever been that hard for me. Just a lot of hard work and filling out the papers I need to. But if you don’t get a scholarship or financial aid, I could see that being a huge struggle, especially for the students who live in more working class conditions and don’t have very much. It makes me think of Yasmeen who doesn’t have a job but has an older brother who has a meager job as a salesperson to provide for her and also their two younger siblings. They don’t even have parents alive to help them. How would she ever have enough money to go to college and be a kidney doctor like she wants to?

And then those students who are undocumented aren’t even allowed to get financial aid at all so they have to fully rely on scholarships or else they have to pay out of pocket. We say that people can come to America and live the American dream, but how often can that really happen? We don’t make it all that easy. Many immigrants work super hard and still can only barely get by to provide for themselves and their families.

I felt kinda weird when I read the part about the teacher meeting. They were all sharing experiences about different students and showing examples of poorly written essays and bad things students did wrong. And most of the comments about the stuff being discussed seemed tacky and rude and critical. They seemed like they had a kick out of talking about their students in a bad light, like they were making fun of them. I know the purpose was probably to share concerns and find solutions to help their students, and that is fine, but I feel like they went about it in the wrong way. I just felt uncomfortable the whole time I read their conversation. I certainly do not want to do that in teacher meetings I have in the future. I want to focus on the positive as much as possible and treat the harder things more delicately.

I thought it was definitely the wrong thing for James, the teacher, to throw an unwanted party for Yasmeen about her getting married. She had kept it a secret from most people for a reason, and then was obligated to show up in class for the party where the food and drink was already gone, and she had to tell the whole class in a very public and humiliating way about it. I know that James meant well and didn’t want her to go through the next few days by herself and so he thought this would be a great way to show support, but it didn’t have the best effects. People thought it was weird she was marrying her cousin and they were bombarding her with questions and so it wasn’t even comforting to her, but seemed more like they were intruding on her business. She didn't even seem excited about the whole thing, and so I felt even more bad that she had to be humiliated and questioned at school.

It’s amazing to me how much Chit Su had changed and adapted to high school from the beginning of the year til when she had to move away, about 6 months later. She completely changes. She isn’t the shy scared confused girl she was before. Her appearance, outfits, communication skills, and demeanor have changed. She’s dated several guys, she isn’t afraid to speak in front of her class, she has just really “unpacked” herself and has become much more American. Is this a good or bad thing that she’s changed so much, though? So many students at International High probably started out just like Chit Su, fully ingrained in their culture and have this culture shock of everything different around them, but not after long they all become quite similar. Is it a good thing for them to be similar and to be a “soup” in the melting pot? Or should they try to hold onto their culture as much as possible and live in a society being part of a “salad”? Which is better? Is there one better? I am not sure. She seems happier being assimilated into the culture there, but not everyone probably would be. It shows on the students Facebook accounts though that they clearly want to be American and want to portray who they are on there rather than stick to their roots. What makes it so they want to all be in a melting pot and become the same? Why don’t they want to keep their culture and remain different than everyone else? Maybe they feel the pressure to be the same as everyone else because we, Americans, make people different than us outsiders? We don’t give them the same respect and opportunities, perhaps? Whether my students want to be a salad or a soup in my class is up to them, I just hope they don't have to feel pressured into becoming the soup and becoming the same as everyone else. I want to show all my students how valuable and unique everyone is, no matter who they are.